The four Ws are a checklist people use in the wild to decide whether or not a campsite is suitable enough. They are:

Wood

Water

Wind

Widowmakers

I’ve come to notice the four Ws round the office, and I’m now considering the suitability of Luttville Medical Center for my personal campsite five days out of the week.

Shall we tick off the list together? Oh, never mind. I know by now that, in this digital wilderness, I’m entirely alone.

For me, then:

WOOD

Floors, cabinets, all in a yellowy beige finish, surround me. I believe they would make a decent lean-to in a pinch if chopped up and reassembled.

WATER

There is a sink, and it’s good to know water is available in a crisis. But if all I had to drink from my commuter mug was water, then survival, even for me, might not be terribly enticing.

WIND

I couldn’t identify a particular culprit, though the kitchen often reeks of someone’s mighty wind. However, this could be attributed to the unregulated contents of the shared fridge directly following its own metal cheeks flapping out the stale aroma of days-old tikka masala.

WIDOWMAKERS

I’m indoors, so there aren’t any standing dead trees that would easily fall on me if subjected to wind. Even the trees outside the window are puny in comparison to trees as a whole. Are there non-tree widowmakers in Luttville? Could the steady rhythm of the printer…

*RIGHT LEFT*

*RIGHT LEFT*

*RIGHT LEFT*

*RIGHT LEFT*

…make my soul dead and leave my body a widow?

I leave it an open question.

Live longer and reproduce more,

-Janet